


I'll Try To Hold On (While You Try To Let Go)

by agirlnamedtruth, weekendgothgirl



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alpha Derek, Alpha/Beta, Animal Traits, Biting, Blow Jobs, Claiming, Claustrophobia, Come Eating, Come Marking, Derek Feels, Derek Hale is Bad at Feelings, Derek Has Feelings, Derek Has Issues, Developing Relationship, Dom/sub Undertones, Dubious Consent Due To Identity Issues, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, Frottage, Hand Jobs, Hurt/Comfort, Isaac Feels, Isaac Lahey Feels, Kissing, M/M, Masturbation, Mildly Dubious Consent, Mutual Masturbation, Oral Sex, Panic Attacks, Past Abuse, Past Domestic Violence, Past Isaac Lahey/Erica Reyes - Freeform, Past Kate Argent/Derek Hale, Past Relationship(s), Past Sexual Abuse, Phobias, Puppy Isaac, Sad Isaac, Sex Tapes, Touch-Starved, Werewolf Culture, Werewolves
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-22
Updated: 2016-04-03
Packaged: 2018-03-17 23:42:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 14,648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3548075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/agirlnamedtruth/pseuds/agirlnamedtruth, https://archiveofourown.org/users/weekendgothgirl/pseuds/weekendgothgirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A broken elevator forces both Isaac and Derek to confront some fears, one the cure for the other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I'll Try To Hold On (While You Try To Let Go)

**Author's Note:**

> Title from [This Is How It Goes by Aimee Mann](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=47ZdvACfib4). Set between season 2 and season 3, before Scott gets his bike and before Isaac stumbles upon the Alpha pack.
> 
> Sort of built on this headcanon that we were discussing about how touching people is always on Derek's terms. If he touches a character, it's usually about control and dominance and we all see what tends to happen when people touch him.

Isaac taps his fingers against the dashboard as Derek pulls up to the hospital. This isn’t the first time he’d had to pick Scott up when his mom had to work overtime but it’s the first time Derek had tagged along for the ride. Not that Isaac minds, it was Derek’s car after all but he didn’t exactly make the best company during increasingly awkward car journeys.

“I can... you know, if you want to wait in the car, that’s fine,” Isaac says quickly, getting out the car before he even finishes offering. He’s half hoping that if he gets the door closed, Derek will stay in his seat but he just shakes his head, slamming his door behind him and dashing Isaac’s hopes. “Alright then.”

He keeps quiet as they walk through reception, keeping two steps behind Derek is a lot easier than walking beside him at least. He would have happily stayed silent until he realizes Derek has, in fact, stopped walking altogether and the cause for that was a nice shiny lit up elevator button.

Isaac swallows, skin prickling with heat, nails scratching at the back of his neck to ease it. “I think I’ll just take the stairs.”

If he got away before the lift got down, it might just have worked but he jumps at the sound of the little ding it gives and the doors slide open, inviting them in, in a wholly uninviting, would rather be anywhere else manner.

Derek glances at him over his shoulder, rolling his eyes. “It’s here, just get in.”

Isaac looks at the illuminated number above it knowing there were several floors before Mrs. McCall’s ward. It’d be at least a minute in a tiny metal box. He knew it felt like no time at all to a normal person but it spelled hell for him. “I’m not all that comfortable with elevators.”

“I’m not taking the stairs, just get in the elevator,” Derek said before sighing and pulling him into it by the elbow. “It’s fine, look. It’ll be over before you know it.”

Isaac tries his best to smile like it wasn’t that big a deal. The doors haven’t even closed yet and already he wants to get out. “What if we get stuck?”

Derek presses the button anyway and the doors slide closed, trapping them in, for better or worse. “We won’t.”

The trip up is fine for all of twenty seconds and then the thing jolts suddenly and a series of bangs signal it stopping. Great. Derek sighs heavily as the temptation to rub at his eyes rises. Why does that always happen to him. He glares at the lit up panel of buttons and presses the alarm firmly, the plastic folding slightly under the pad of his finger as he presses too hard but it still works so whatever.

It's only after all this that he turns to Isaac. He looks pale, eyes roaming left to right like a trapped animal.

“Well, thank you Derek,” Isaac says once he realized it wasn't just them stopping at a floor. “We couldn't have taken the fucking stairs?”

He closes his eyes against the walls but he can't close out the sound of the alarm or his shouting or Derek's breathing or... his heart thumping in his chest, louder and faster than should be possible.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he chants like it will help. There's only one thing that will help. He tries to turn his thoughts to his dad, tries to find his anchor but confined in such a small space, his dad isn’t his dad anymore, he’s the one that clicks the padlock closed and ignores his shouts. “Fuck, fuck, FUCK!”

He turned, pacing, sweating, glaring at the walls, glaring at Derek as he waited for someone to answer his call for help. But nobody was coming. Nobody ever came. Not until he was good again, not until he was sorry.

“I'll be good, I'm sorry,” Isaac said, opening his eyes, the clarity of the words calmer than they sounded in his mind. Kicking against the metal, he started to fight against himself, mirrored back in the shiny silver surface, yellow eyes glowing back at him. “Let me out, I'll be good!”

He'd intended to shout again, show that he was bigger and scarier than a fucking metal box but it came out a whimper, nothing like the screaming in his head. “Derek, I'll be good, I promise. We don't have to take the stairs.”

Derek watches Isaac wide eyed, eyebrow raised. Okay, maybe he shouldn't have made him get in the elevator but still, he didn't think that the fucking thing would actually break down. What are the chances of that anyway? He rubs at his neck as Isaac starts talking about being good. What is he talking about? Why is he saying that he'll be good, he hasn't said anything about him. Derek watches Isaac getting more freaked out, kicking at the walls and he realizes that he has to calm him down or else. They can't afford to have a wolf running around the hospital. Not this early in the week, at least.

He doesn't move straight away as he tries to think of how he can help. Moving slowly, he steps closer to Isaac, hands raised.

Isaac could see Derek approaching out of the corner of his eye but all it did was make the space around him even smaller. He rested his head against the doors, hands coming up on either side of his face, nails turned to claws as he hit against the doors with his open palms. 

His heart was going again, getting louder, getting faster. Listening to it made him feel better somehow, like a signpost, giving him direction, pulling him forwards. 

He growls, not even sure if he's growling at the elevator or Derek or himself now. His claws screech on metal, his voice scraping against his throat. “Let me out! Let me out!”

Derek doesn't think, he reaches out grabbing Isaac and slamming his back to the opposite wall. He glares at the man as he hisses, “calm down. You may not have noticed but we're both trapped.”

His eyes flash in warning as Isaac tries to slash at him. Letting go he presses into the other man's space but doesn't touch him.

Isaac growls, unable to unleash his feelings against the wall, they have no out, they're trapped with them. He tries to push Derek back but he's stronger, as immovable as the wall. This time when he growls at him, it's through teeth sharp enough to tear through him if he doesn't get out of his way.

Derek just looks at Isaac unflinchingly, gaze firm. He wonders how far Isaac trusts him even as he casts his mind back for anything that could help. His people skills are rusty after living so far on the outskirts, only doing what he needed to survive. All he can really do is make sure Isaac doesn't hurt either of them and try to calm him. Somehow. Not that he's really the best person for comfort; he rarely uses it and obtains it even less.

Pressing closer he pushes Isaac's arms against the wall, metal cool against his fingers. He leans in to murmur into Isaac's ear the only thing he can think to help. “You are good Isaac, okay? Don't let this control you, you're stronger than that.”

Isaac tries to fight again but he can't, Derek is immovable, fencing him in, keeping him from sinking to the floor in despair. He feels the wolf still, the red roll back like a wave that has crashed and broken. He scrabbles against the only thing he could; Derek.

Derek holds Isaac firmly, he doesn't stop him moving but he does keep his arms against the wall. When there's a break for breath, he repeats the same words. It feels like he's talking more about Isaac than to him at just this moment. Hell, he'll let Isaac fight against him if that'll help.

With the wolf in him calmed, that left only the human to deal with his fear. He couldn't breathe; his fingers hurt from clawing at Derek's chest with only his nails, his jaw ached from keeping it clenched. But it wasn't so bad because Derek didn't think he was acting up, he didn't want to punish him, he just needed him to think straight, something that was just out of his reach. “Derek, I can't.”

Derek nods; this isn't something he’s used to so he needs help. He lays a hand on Isaac's shoulder, “What can I do?”

“How about make the fucking elevator work?” Isaac suggests, laughing. Once he starts, he can't pull it back, it's like he's completely lost any semblance of calm and another part of him is scared if he does stop laughing, he might actually cry and though Derek had forgiven a lot of weakness so far, he knew crying was the worst one, the one that made people really mad.

“I tried that.” Shrugging Derek watches slightly out of his depth as Isaac keeps laughing almost hysterically. Social skills would help right now. Shifting to buy some time he squeezes the shoulder he's holding. “Calm down, Isaac.”

“I told you, I can’t.” Isaac stares at Derek hard, like saying it with his eyes would help. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t get his breathing to subside or his heart to slow or the voice in his head, whispering how he’d be locked in here forever for being such a fuck up, to shut up for two seconds. All he knew was how to do was kick and fight and scream and cry and give up. He’d wanted to be strong, he’d come to Derek to be strong and for a while, he thought it had worked but staring at him now, he forgot how to be. And if he wasn’t strong, he was weak and he couldn’t even do what Derek asked him, fuck, fuck. He felt himself slipping again. “I’m sorry.”

Derek can feel his own mask slipping as he watches Isaac withdraw bit by bit. He refuses to let him down though, refuses to let him sink back into panic. He presses his hands to the other mans cheeks. “NO!” His voice loud enough to ring in the metal chamber, “listen to me. You're doing so well. Don't give up.” He rests his forehead against Isaac's, “take strength from me.”

Isaac knows his eyes are wide, he can feel them almost crossing trying to keep Derek focused but he is, he’s focused. He’s got Derek. He’s... not breathing. He can feel the line of Derek’s face against his, the solid feel of his skull, the bridge of his nose and he can feel Derek’s heavy breathing against his lips but he can’t. Great, just great, he’s not only going to suffocate in an elevator, like he’d feared, he was going to suffocate because his body had hit the trip switch.

Great. Fucking awesome. Isaac stills under him and he can't feel him breathing. If he was with someone else they'd have no problem helping. No problem touching. They'd know what to say and do. He needs to do something. He remembers a film he saw once where a character wasn't breathing, if he could just remember what they did. 

Oh! His eyes widen and he lets go of one of Isaac's arms, placing his hand on his own chest. He doesn't know if Isaac will notice how fast his heart is beating under his palm or that his lungs are working a little faster than usual but he can't help that. It's just touching someone so much, that's all it is. Shaking himself from his thoughts he focuses on Isaac. “Isaac focus, copy me. Breathe.”

Swallowing, Isaac forces air down and chokes it back up again. Too little. Too fast. He dug his nails into Derek’s chest, his own acutely aching like his heart was stuttering as badly as his breathing. Hyperventilating. Wonderful. Much better. “Keep. Talking.”

Desperately Derek casts his mind for something to talk about. He can only think of one thing though and it's something he'd never say. At least in normal circumstances. Taking a breath his hand tightens on Isaac's shoulder and presses his hand against his chest harder.

“I'm not used to this. Used to touching people like this. In a comforting way, not trying to scare the shit out of them.” He looks over Isaac's shoulder, looking at his reflection in the metal. “I've been alone too long.”

Biting down on his lip, Isaac breathes through his nose, picking up the first traces of real fear from Derek. All the time he could have ripped his throat out, he’d barely been concerned but saying that, admitting something about himself, that brought out the scent of fear like a cornered rabbit.

Isaac reaches out with his hand; the one Derek wasn’t crushing to his chest, noticing Derek’s eyes follow his hand as it gets closer. Nobody touched Derek, that was an unwritten rule learned the first time you ever made that mistake. But thinking about Derek had stopped him thinking about the four walls and the floor and the ceiling and the oxygen they were wasting. When his fingers brushed the bare skin of his upper arm, he pulled back, almost like it burned but nothing happened. He didn’t hit him, he didn’t even glare. He pulled himself up, pushing his back against the hard wall and this time, he let his hand linger, fingers curling around Derek’s bicep as he met his eyes. “Like this?”

Nodding with wide eyes Derek watches Isaac touch him. “Yeah. Like that.” He can feel himself trembling from the effort of keeping calm. He won't help anything if he starts freaking out too. He takes a deep breath and moves his hands, reaching out to touch Isaac's forearm. He can handle this.

“Why?” Isaac asks, breathing shallow but he’s no longer worried about it. “Has no-one ever...”

He cut himself off, he knew what it was like to attach a bad memory to something good and have it tainted until you couldn’t stand it. “Doesn’t matter. I can stop if you want me to. Sorry.”

Derek is grateful for the pause; he slows his breathing and shakes his head. “It's okay. It's helping you. Just.” Swallowing he tightens his grip on Isaac and shakes his head.

“What?” Isaac asks picking up Derek’s fallen thought. He knows he should just shut up. Shut up, man up and suck it up. But he’s never seen Derek like this before, never thought about him as having his own sore spots and he wants to know more, he wants to know how to make it better for him.

Derek can't look at Isaac, can't let him see too far into him. He tries to work out what to say.

“Touching hasn't ever been good for me.” He hopes Isaac will leave it as that. That he won't pry any further.

“It can be,” Isaac says before he realizes the words are out of his mouth. Now he’s said them, he can’t disappoint Derek and take them back. His hand moves the same way the words had tumbled out, shakily, without real direction. It connects with Derek’s t-shirt just above his hip, just above the harsh line of his jeans. He’s waiting for Derek to snap at him, tell him to stop being so fucking ridiculous but it doesn’t come.

Derek's eyes widen in surprise at Isaac's words and before he can begin to work out what he means, Isaac's hand is on his hip. He jumps at the touch, breathing faster but doesn't tell him to stop. He can handle this.

“Has there been no-one since Kate?” Isaac asks even though Derek had never told him that story himself. Everyone knew.

“No.” Derek shakes his head but he doesn't say anything else. He can't, no matter what he can't tell Isaac about her. About how she fucked him over in every way imaginable. Oh, he knows they know but he can't tell him all the details. He can't share all of those parts of him.

Isaac frowns, he can’t help but ask, “Don’t you ever get lonely?”

“Yes.” Derek moves his hand over Isaac's arm, trying to distract him with touch.

“It sucks,” Isaac admits bluntly before blushing. “Sorry, just... before you and Erica and Boyd, I didn't have anybody either so what I guess I'm saying is... you have me. If you want that is. I can shut up if you want me to.”

Despite himself Derek shakes his head, “you're okay.” He stops for a beat and watches Isaac's face drop before he realizes how that sounds. Quickly he reaches up to make the other man look at him, “I meant it's okay you can keep talking. I'd like to have you.” He cringes at the way he says it, both suggestive and possibly desperate. He forces himself not to focus on that as he realizes that the smell of fear coming from Isaac has dramatically decreased. Fuck he's glad of that.

It's a risky move but Isaac doesn't feel scared as he moves his hand from Derek's arm to his shoulder then over his back to the nape of his neck, leaning as close as he dared. When he speaks, it's almost the same words but now, they've taken on a new tone and a different meaning. “I don't have to keep talking.”

Derek swallows hard, thoughts a jumble as he tries to think this through. Isaac's words leaving little doubt to what he means. He hasn't moved since speaking, just playing with the hair at the nape of his neck and it doesn't make things easier.

Besides the obvious, he can't stop the idea that this would ruin everything. That Isaac will suddenly leave or worse, use it against him. Even more than that he can't help feel that it could be a death sentence for him. He doesn't know if he can cope with it again.

Isaac lets his head fall back against the cold metal, taking the hint. “Or not.”

He stares up at the ceiling and instantly regrets it, averting his eyes back to the floor, that way he can pretend it's just a floor and he never stepped over that invisible line between them. “Sorry, I shouldn't have said that, of course that's not what you meant. You're the alpha, I shouldn't... I'm not worth it, I get it, I'm a beta.”

He let his eyes flick up to Derek's face, remembering the way he'd looked at Erica when she'd kissed him. At least he didn't look like that now but then he'd had the good sense not to just jump on him without warning.

Derek sighs, jaw clenched as he watches Isaac's face. He didn't mean to hurt him he just- it was so quick and he's not done anything with anyone since her. Hell, he'd only just got used to being touched. He didn't think anything else was on offer, at least not now. He's able to at least fix this. “It's not because you're a beta. I don't care about that. It's just a surprise.” He reaches up to curl a finger under Isaac's chin to lift his head, “I never said you weren’t worth it. You are.”

He doesn't know what makes him do it, doesn't know how he swallows the urge to press himself against the far wall away from Isaac. Maybe it was Isaac's face, used to being shown he wasn't worth a damn. Maybe because he didn't understand that not everything was a rejection of him but his own fear. Maybe because despite everything he kind of liked Isaac's touch and the way he respected him enough to ask if he wanted to stop. No one else ever did. Maybe they weren't so different. Thinking that he presses forward, his body pushing against Isaac as much as he can as he crushes his lips to Isaac's.

For the barest second, Isaac couldn’t breathe again with the shock of Derek colliding into him. Perhaps there was something in just going for it after all. Or maybe Derek just feels sorry for him; Isaac doesn’t really want to think about it. The heat of Derek’s body, the way his hands held him just a little too tight, that was all he wanted to think about and for the first time since the lift doors had slid open, he felt... _normal_.

Pulling away for air, Derek licks at his lips. He can taste Isaac on his flesh and it thrills him more than he thought it would. He can feel his inner wolf stir consideringly. He can't look at the other man yet though, worried his gaze would show something best hidden.

Isaac breathes in deeply, thanking his werewolf senses that he can smell arousal coming of Derek in waves even though he would never admit to as much. Which is fine, Isaac gets it, he has to be the Alpha, he can’t ask for what he needs. But if he would, Isaac wouldn’t hesitate, he’d give everything over to him; make sure he knows just how thankful he is for Derek turning his life around. And if he can’t say it, he’ll make sure Derek knows in other ways.

His palms feel like they’re burning as he pulls them away from Derek’s skin and put them against the cold metal of the wall as he slides down it, dropping to his knees, eventually low enough to meet Derek’s gaze, trained on the floor as it was. “It’s fine, you don’t have to say anything but... why be lonely when we don’t have to be?”

Derek swallows nodding, Isaac's right. If Isaac is offering what he thinks he's offering then he should take it. God knows it won't be easy but it has to be worth it surely. 

Reaching down he strokes a thumb over Isaac's lower lip, he isn't sure what to say so he takes a breath and just tells the truth. “I'm not against it, it won't be easy though. You know that, right?”

“And what is?” Isaac asks sitting back on his heels. “Erica and Boyd are missing, there is a whole pack of Alphas somewhere out there but we can’t do anything about it because we can’t tell anyone they’re even here. Nothing is easy.”

He reaches up, hands feeling much more at home on Derek’s hips even if it meant arguing with his belt buckle rather than his face. “We’re all that’s left of our pack, Derek, this is all we have.”

Derek cards his fingers through Isaac's hair and sighs, resignation deep in his bones. He's right of course but he just wanted him to understand. 

“Our pack looks out for each other.” He can feel Isaac look up again, “we take care of each other. I just meant that I want you to know there could be issues between us. I wanted you prepared for that.”

Isaac nods, making an effort to look brave and fearless even though the thought of problems later made his fragile confidence wobble. He leans into Derek’s touch, ignoring everything else in favor of the feel of his fingers running through his curls. He could do this. He could admit it might not fix them. “I know. I mean, I am. Prepared for that. But we lost Erica and Boyd; I promise I’m not going to fuck this up too.”

If Isaac can be brave enough to be honest, he can too. At least in the confines of the elevator. “I don't want to fuck this up too. This has been the best thing to happen to me for a long time.”

Isaac couldn’t help the smile that lit up his face, even if he had to look away to stop himself throwing his arms around Derek’s waist. “Me too. Aside from the small space and the fact we’re trapped, obviously. That I could live without.”

Clearing his throat, he ignores the apology on his tongue and instead smiles at Isaac softly. He knows that the smile may be rusty but he can't help that. His fingers tangle on curls and he urges Isaac up for another kiss.

Isaac leans up as far as he can, getting one of his feet underneath him so he could meet Derek in the middle, his hand wrapping around the back of his neck to keep himself steady as he kisses him, daring to push it deeper this time, feeling Derek’s teeth, thankfully blunt and human, against his tongue before Derek let go of the last of his reservations and opened up for him.

Kissing Isaac feels strange but good. He just has to remind himself that this is worth it, that he can open to the other man. His fingers tense in his hair for a moment as Isaac's tongue strokes over his own but he lets go of his demons and sucks at the muscle, delighting in the noise Isaac makes.

Isaac never wants to stop kissing him but his arm aches from reaching up, his knees are screaming at him to sit back down and eventually he has to give into them, resting his forehead against Derek's chin for a moment before he returned to the floor, reaching for Derek's belt.

Taking a deep breath, Derek watches Isaac unbuckle his belt. His heart's pounding in his chest and part of him just wants to stop him going further, fear prickling at the back of his mind. He refuses though. He wants to have this moment with him. Instead he cups the other mans cheek, encouraging him with his touch and taking comfort from him.

Isaac leans into Derek's hand, letting him stroke his cheek as he slides Derek's zipper down. Even though he'd never done this before, he didn't let himself show any hesitation in case Derek misunderstood it and thought he didn't _want_ to do it. But he'd been lucky before, with Erica, and she'd shown him things he'd never thought about before, told him things that at the time he'd never have guessed would come in handy. 

When the zip was down enough, he slipped his hand inside Derek's underwear and around his cock, mind mapping every detail while he thought of it. The silky feel of the skin, the heat of it, the weight. It was no different to touching himself really, except in the ways it really was different. The way it was attached to Derek and the scent of him, the pre-come he'd scented before, the indrawn breath on the air when he finally freed his cock from its confines.

God, Derek forces himself to let go of Isaac's hair as he reaches inside his clothing and grabs his cock. He suddenly feels vulnerable and he has to take a few deep breaths. Isaac's pulled him free now and is looking at him in a way he's never had before. It's thrilling and terrifying all at once and all he can think about is how close Isaac's face is to his dick.

Keeping his hand tight around the base, Isaac kissed along the underside of Derek’s cock, tasting the skin, licking over the vein, feeling the blood drumming under the tip of his tongue. When he reaches the head, he laps up the pre-come, closing his eyes to bask in the taste, surprising himself when he felt his cock twitch against the seam of his own jeans.

To begin with, he’d only thought about the comfort touching Derek would bring, like sitting by a hot fire on a freezing night but now he was doing it, he found it tugged at another need inside him, one slightly more feral than he’d admit to and it was that need made him kneel up a little straighter and close his lips over the tip, tongue still dancing over the head, trying to take in every last drop that had gathered there.

Derek's hands fly to grasp at the wall and the back of Isaac's head, cradling him as a low growl sticks in his throat. Fuck, suddenly there's no worries, no fear. He doesn't even think about the fact it's _Isaac_ doing this. All he can think of is the wet heat around him and how every part of him wants it.

Isaac listens as Derek’s heartbeat picks up, stutters when he does certain things like swallow nervously around him or grip tighter on his hips, nails digging into the stiff fabric of his jeans. He shuffles forward on his knees, leaning closer, taking him deeper, focusing more on the heavy weight on his tongue than the catch at the back of his throat before he pulls back again, glancing up to make sure he’s doing good.

Derek looks down with dark eyes and meets Isaac's gaze. His gaze drops lower to where Isaac's lips are stretched around his cock as heat coils in his belly and fuck he looks good enough to eat. A long, loud growl falls between bared teeth that surprises them both.

Normally when Derek growls, it’s to get him to shut up or to back down but this time, it’s different. It pulls at something he’d worked at burying deep inside him and can’t help his eyes flashing yellow before he closes them, trying to keep the wolf in check even though it wanted nothing more than to roll over for Derek. Instead, he put all his effort into blowing him, not paying attention to the finer points, not caring that he had spit running over his bottom lip as he feels Derek’s hips stutter slightly, his grip on the back of Isaac’s head tightening until he could feel claws against his skull.

He feels pulled in two directions, trying to hold the wolf back and the rising orgasm. He holds back from thrusting into Isaac's mouth and runs his thumb over Isaac's cheeks, feeling his hard cock there.

He can feel his wolf pacing, wanting to claim him despite how good he feels. He vaguely wonders just how much he's wolfed out, he knows this won't help, that he was trying to stop this happening. His hips snap and he looks down to see the other man mussed up and working him hard and he gives up fighting how good he feels. He comes with a moan, hands moving at the last second to scratch down the metal walls instead of hurting Isaac.

The first wave of come hits Isaac’s tongue hard and it’s all he can do to not cough. He swallows it down quickly, keeping swallowing until he’d milked Derek of every last drop. It leaves a strong taste in his mouth but he could almost still feel the heat of it in his throat and he likes that.

He shifts on his knees, pulling back from Derek’s softening cock and putting his back against the wall, tracing the deep grooves Derek left in the metal above his head. Suddenly the metal doesn’t seem that thick after all.

Derek watches Isaac as his breathing slows and the last of his orgasm shudders through him. He can't believe that Isaac did that to him. Or that he swallowed every drop of come. Honestly he's amazed that he'd want to. Glancing at his hands his relieved that they're human again, apparently he just needed to come to change back. That’s a new one.

Glancing up he watches as Isaac traces the deep gauges he left in the walls, “that's gonna be hard to explain.” 

Tucking himself away gingerly he eyes the other man, “are you... Do you want me to do anything?”

Isaac considers it, there were so many things he'd like to do if he wasn't trapped in a fucking elevator, if he could believe that this wasn't just something to be used as a last ditch attempt when he was freaking out. That it wasn't just a one off where their circumstances had forced them to talk to each other honestly for a while.

He settles for a middle ground between what his body wants and what he could bring himself to ask for. Catching the hem of Derek's top between his fingers, he gently tugs on it. “If you could just sit with me, I'll take care of it. Take care of myself, I mean.”

Nodding, he shifts, pressing against the ruined wall and sliding down next to Isaac. He sits; legs splayed out front of him and tugs the other man down beside him. He rolls his head over to look at Isaac, his fingers stroking over his arm hesitantly. Which is ridiculous considering where his dick just was but whatever, he doesn't control this. “Are you sure this is what you want?”

Isaac nods, hands quickly undoing his jeans before Derek thinks he doesn't want this as badly as he does. But it's not quick enough to stop himself second guessing himself. “Yeah, sure, unless... I can wait ‘til we get home, if you want.”

He hates himself for suggesting it because he doesn't want to wait, he doesn’t want to do it alone. He wants to kiss Derek, roll around the elevator floor with him, grind against him until he comes, spreading white over that perfectly black t-shirt. He forces the thought down; sure it has teeth and yellow eyes. The human part of him was happy enough to sit beside him as he got himself off. That was more than he'd had in a long time.

“No,” he answers quickly, probably too quickly but he squeezes Isaac's forearm and carries on. “That's not fair on you.” Reaching over Derek plucks at his open fly, “Go ahead.” 

He licks his lips as Isaac pulls his cock out and Derek can't take his eyes away from it. He feels a momentary pang of guilt as Isaac takes himself in hand. Isaac did so much for him but he hasn't offered anything in return. Even he knows that isn't fair. Taking a breath he reaches out to stroke over the bare skin of his arm, sliding down to touch the strip of skin where his shirt's ridden up.

Isaac tries not to feel the heat of Derek’s gaze on him, tries not to let that very same heat creep up his neck and into his cheeks. He’s never done this before, with someone watching. His hand shakes as he runs it slowly up his cock and back down again, trying to breathe evenly through it, trying to stay focused even though he wants nothing more than to glance up at Derek.

Derek shifts to face Isaac more, watching him closely as he studies how Isaac likes to touch himself. He watches Isaac twist his wrist and feels a need to touch, to claim. He knows that isn't strictly just the human part of him but he can't stop it. He lets it simmer under his skin, chasing away all the doubts and fears over this. If they just have this moment then he wants to give and take more.

He inhales deeply, the scent of sex and their musk mixing is strong to him. The smell almost covering the tang of fear. It spurs him on, makes him move his hand across Isaac's stomach, hip and thigh. Savoring the mix of sensations under his palm before curling around Isaac's hand, gaze pinning him to the floor.

Unable to avoid looking at him any longer, Isaac met Derek's eyes, finding them burning red. He swallows, that spark of desire cracking inside him again and he can't help but grip tighter, move faster, his body responding to his alpha. He tilts his head to the side, baring his throat, submitting to Derek without even thinking twice.

Derek swallows and leans over, automatically nuzzling against Isaac's bared neck, teeth pressed on his flesh. His scent is stronger now and he feels the blood pounding through his pulse. Isaac submitting to him. It's heady and makes him want to howl in triumph. He knows that the wolf is making him braver and he takes advantage. Face still pressed to vulnerable flesh, he squeezes Isaac's hand, feeling him buck beneath him. Slowly he swipes his thumb along the head of his cock.

Isaac arches up into Derek’s touch, the scrape of Derek’s teeth going straight to his cock even if he didn’t exactly understand why. He brought his other hand up to Derek’s head, taking the risk and pulling him away from his throat and kissing, teeth clashing against Derek’s fangs in a brutal press. He was so close, just the thought of Derek’s hand on his cock, Derek touching him, Derek _wanting_ to touch him. Derek _wanting_ him. “Fuck, Derek.”

“Isaac,” Derek growls, voice rough and raw. His fangs making speech a little more difficult so he lets his body speak instead. Brave and willing, Derek takes Isaac's hand away and replaces it with his own. He kisses Isaac again as he slides over his shaft, thumb firmly brushing the head.

Isaac’s dimly aware of his hips lifting clear off the floor and fucking up into Derek’s hand as everything else falls away into white hot pleasure, everything but the scent of Derek, the sound of one of them growling deep in their throat, fuck is it him? He swallows it down, hand scrabbling against the floor as he comes, his only anchor the hand on the back of Derek’s neck and Derek’s hands on him.

Derek strokes Isaac through his orgasm, taking his hand away when Isaac makes a noise in the back of his throat. His hand's covered in come but he can't find it in himself to care, in fact his wolf may even be pleased with it. There's only one thing he'd want to do more. Of course he isn't sure what's going on with them. Clearing his throat he takes a calming breath, fangs disappearing and eyes back to normal.

Isaac lets his head rest against the cool metal for a moment before he shakes his head, clearing it and reaching for his jeans, pulling them back up where they had slipped and doing them back up again. 

“Said we should have taken the stairs,” he says with a lopsided smile to Derek.

Raising his eyebrow, Derek can't help but smile back. “I don't know, it could have been worse.” He keeps hold of Isaac's gaze for a few beats longer before looking at his hand still covered in Isaac's come.

Isaac glances around as though a box of tissues might magically appear but the only two things in the lift were Derek and himself. He considers offering his shirt but he has to wear something when they go to get Scott and he’d be able to smell sex on them just as easily as they could smell it on each other. 

“Here, let me,” Isaac says, taking Derek’s hand by the wrist, palm up and pulling it towards him, bowing his head to lick over Derek’s hand with broad swipes of his tongue. It wasn’t the first time he’d had to hastily clean up for Derek’s benefit and he didn’t think for a second it would be the last. 

Derek's breath stutters in his throat as Isaac's tongue glides over his skin, tickling the flesh in a way that shouldn't be as hot as it is. A shiver runs down his spine as he watches before pulling his hand away and licking the last of Isaac's come off himself. It feels animalistic to do it but he can't deny he enjoys it somehow.

Lowering his hand he licks his lips. He should be worried about being found in a lift reeking of sex with scratches on the metal wall. Instead he's contemplating Isaac, wondering what he's thinking. Whether they can do this again and wondering if he'll tell everyone else about this. All of this. It's not the sex that worries him, it's what he said, the things he admitted.

“Thanks,” Isaac says, sitting back against the metal again, the taste of come still strong on his tongue. He’s not sure if he’s thanking Derek for the help cleaning his hand, the wank or letting him blow him but it’s all relative. He hasn’t been this happy in a long time and for the second time in his life, that’s down to Derek.

It still hurts to think of him lonely though, having nobody he can trust enough to talk to or take comfort in. It breaks his heart to think of him holding that in for so many years. He reaches out his hand and brushes it against Derek’s knee. “You know we can always do this again, right? If you want to. I mean, I want to if you do.”

Derek jumps a little at Isaac's touch but covers it with a nod. He really would like that, it's been really good. With Isaac he could let go enough to enjoy himself. Hell, he let go enough to wolf out. The only thing that worries him now is anyone else finding out how broken he is. He can't afford that. Not with a whole pack of alphas on his doorstep just waiting to make their move against him.

“Yeah, I'd like that.” Glancing over at his face he adds, “But tell anyone about what I said and I'll...”

“...Chop me into tiny pieces and bury me under the floor boards, got it,” Isaac finishes for him, with a smile. For Derek, that was pretty much poetry.

“Yeah, exactly and don't you forget it.” Derek's lips twitch, his voice firm but his expression softens the words. He knows that Isaac understands on some level. He reaches over to lay a hand on Isaac's arm.

Isaac’s about to cover Derek’s hand with his when the lift gives a shudder, dropping the few feet progress it had made from the ground. “Fuck, I wish it wouldn’t do that.”

He glances at Derek but his eyes are trained on the door as he scrambles to his feet. It’s just as well because a few seconds later, the doors slide open and Scott’s between them, looking like someone just knocked him around the head.

“Derek, I told you to this morning to take the stairs, the lift’s been playing up all day,” Scott says before looking from Isaac on the floor to the scars in the metal to Derek and back again to Isaac again, clearly scenting the air. “Wait, what’s did I miss?”

Derek sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose, it's possible Scott told him that but at the time he was restraining himself from punching Stiles. No one can both resist that and listen. It's impossible.

“Text your mom. Get her to delete the CCTV footage. Now.” He glares at Scott, daring him to ask why as he gestures for Isaac to get out first. Over his dead body will anyone see that footage.

After the world’s longest and most awkward car ride, Derek turfs them out at Scott’s house, glaring at Isaac to keep his mouth shut in such a way, it made his oversensitive cock twitch again in response.

As soon as the black Camero was out of sight, Isaac caught Scott’s arm and stopped him going through the door. “Could you get your mom to burn that footage for me before she destroys it? Just for, uh... personal reasons.”

Scott frowns, clearly waiting for what those reasons were but when Isaac doesn’t elaborate, he shrugs. “Sure, if you want.”

“Thanks.” Isaac grins and lets himself through Scott’s door. It wasn’t that he would ever show anyone or even show Derek, he just wanted a memory of the only time in his life that being trapped in a confined space had been a good thing.


	2. Tell Me I'm An Angel (Take This To My Grave)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isaac wants to relive what happened between them in the elevator but with Derek falling back into his usual stoicism like nothing happened, he can only think of one way to do it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One year on, I finally got my (that is, agirlnamedtruth's) arse around to editing and posting the sequel. Sorry about the delay, weekendgothgirl and anyone else who might have been after a sequel at the time <3 Title from House of Wolves by My Chemical Romance.

Convincing Mrs. McCall to burn and delete the elevator footage from Tuesday had been easy. Convincing her not to watch it first had been the hard part. It wasn't that she knew what had gone down; even Scott hadn't dared mention it to Stiles under the threat of Derek's glare. But when she asked, he didn't lie to her. Well, not exactly. He just finished the story a bit early. The problem was she was just as curious about seeing how to talk down a wolf, should it ever need to be added to the Beacon Hills guide book. He'd only placated her by promising her he'd show her next time he was round for dinner. He only hoped Scott didn't invite him around any time soon. Or ever again.

But sitting with the laptop balanced on his knees, feet up on one of the makeshift tables, he decides it's totally worth it. Derek was out, Scott was round Stiles' house, it was the first moment of peace he'd had since those elevator doors had slid open.

At first, he hadn't thought about watching the CCTV but as much as he told himself it wasn't all bad, he couldn't stop having nightmares. About the elevator, about the fridge. And even his dreams twisted the good bits. He relieved it where Derek had cast him aside, laughed at him, called him pathetic and ridiculous. When he slotted the USB stick in, he told himself he was just proving to himself it had gone down the way he remembered and that Derek had wanted him and it wasn't some intricate fantasy he'd weaved to keep himself distracted until they were rescued.

Of course, if Derek would actually speak to him or make eye contact with him, he might not have to resort to such measures but he knew better than to push Derek now they were back in the real world. He hadn't kicked him out yet, he was grateful enough for that and happy to let the rest go unremarked but there was a tiny little voice in his head that liked to whisper there was no way that Derek would touch him, let himself be touched.

And it's that voice he wants to shut up as he double clicks play. It's touching Derek that he wants to remember, even if Derek would kill him for keeping a copy back. But he needs something. If they're never going to talk about it again, he needs to relive it, over and over until he stops having nightmares about it not being how he remembers.

He crosses his ankles and pulls the laptop closer as he studies the footage. There's hours of it but he remembers the time on the car dash as Derek pulled up to the hospital and it isn't that hard to find them.

He tries not to look at himself as he watches Derek drag him into sight. He remembers the pinch of Derek's fingers on his elbow but it feels different to how it felt back then. Now it feels as though it wasn't about control or impatience, it wasn't about forcing him. It was an alpha leading his beta into battle, even if it was only an elevator.

Isaac closes his eyes as the picture shudders and flickers. He doesn't know if he can live this bit again but he can't force himself to fast forward. He beat it. He stayed in control. He won.

He watches himself slip, kick the walls, bang against the doors, making the whole frame shake. He blinks, leaning closer, he hadn't thought he'd hit that hard, kicked that ferociously. He flinches every time something that belongs to him connects with metal, the metal always winning. It was like being back there. He tries not to look away but he can't help it. Then his eyes catch Derek, this time from another angle, seeing how he didn't really block out the world like Isaac had thought. Holding his hands and his head up, eyes down, to prove he wasn't a threat but at the time, all he'd felt was something to fight against. Maybe Derek had known that. Maybe he'd known he needed that because after a while his eyes dulled, his body stilled and his jaw clenched closed around human teeth.

And then Derek is touching him. He can feel it again, as though Derek was in the room with him, guiding him through it again. He could still feel his heart but now it was comfortably elevated, not the frantic beat that had no control.

He can see the hesitation, see the same fight happen inside Derek and he couldn't help but like that he'd won. He'd beaten Derek's fears. He'd beaten his own. He ignores the slow blink of his eyes as his head falls back against the metal, almost looking straight into the camera. He can see the rejection in his own eyes but it's alright. It's all alright because if he holds his breath, Derek will kiss him.

Transfixed, he doesn't breathe, waiting for the breaking point between them to come crashing down. He's half hard from anticipation already even though he's told himself that's not what this is about. The silence is deafening as he sees Derek move to touch him again, move to ki-

"What are you watching?"

"Nothing. It's not what it looks like, promise." Isaac jumps, feet falling off the makeshift table and his hands snapping the laptop closed so quickly even he would think he looked guilty, not that he wasn't guilty, of course. Fuck. Oops.

*****

Hesitating at the door to the loft, Derek's eyes drift over the wide expanse. It's not that he's scared of telling the truth or sharing his feelings, well not completely, it's just hard. He never knows what is too much or how it's going to be taken. Besides, he hasn't really hadn't had people who cared about it until recently. 

Hell, it's taken a two hour drive to work up this courage and he doesn't want to waste it. He can cope with opening up to Isaac, he did last time and he didn't laugh, fuck he understood. As for caring about Isaac more than he should, well he can't change that. He's spent days wrestling with that, wondering if he could deal with it. Oddly that was easier to accept than opening up emotionally. Looking down at his shoes, he realizes that probably isn't a good thing. He does accept, for both their sakes, that they need to talk. Especially as Isaac is the type to blame himself for everything. God knows what this has already done to him.

Squaring his shoulders, he lets himself in. He waits for a reaction but one never comes. That's weird, usually there'd be something. He wonders if he's gone out but listening carefully, he can hear him breathing. Following the sound he comes up behind Isaac watching something on his laptop. 

"What are you watching?" he asks, snorting amusedly at the man’s reaction even as the scene on the screen seems familiar. 

"Nothing. It's not what it looks like, promise."

Eyes narrowed suddenly as Isaac's words filter through, Derek says, "What does it look like?"

Isaac stares straight ahead for a second, as if the perfect answer might write itself out of thin air before he looks over his shoulder, saying the first thing that came to him. "Porn? I didn't hear you come in, sorry. I can go back to my room."

Derek's eyebrows went up and Isaac hastily backtracks, realizing the picture he'd painted. "Not to watch it! Just to... If you didn't want me out here. Or I could go to Scott's."

He inwardly kicks himself, remembering Scott's out but he'll sit on his doorstep for a few hours if it makes Derek happy.

Derek sighs and shakes his head, "It's fine-" He stops cold as a shiver goes down his spine as he realizes why the scene looks familiar. He turns on Isaac properly, eyes wide. "Tell me that's not what I think that is."

“It’s not what you think it is?” Isaac says but even he doesn’t believe himself. Oh God, Derek was going to kill him. He was going to scatter him across Beacon Hills like a treasure hunt. He’d probably even make Scott and Stiles a map. Peter would write sassy and sardonic clues. Oh fuck, oh God. “It might be what you think it is.”

For a moment Derek can't breathe, fear and anger fighting for dominance inside him. His voice is cold and hard when he speaks and he wonders how his lips don't crack from the chill. "What. What do you think you're doing with that?" He watches Isaac flinch at the sting of his words as he takes a deep breath. "It had to be deleted for a reason."

“And it was,” Isaac says quickly, pushing the laptop onto the sofa beside him. “I watched as she deleted it but...” Isaac sighs. There’s no other way to say it that didn’t make it sound worse. “I needed it. Look, it’s just pictures, there’s no... you can’t hear what was said. And it’s password protected and I named it _Battle of Bayou Bourbeux_ , nobody is going to open _that_ out of curiosity, right?”

Groaning Derek paces a few steps and back, "That's not the point, Isaac!" He can feel an irritated growl bubble from his chest. How can he do this, doesn't he realize the risk to them both?

"I know, I know, I just. I wanted to feel that way again." He yanks the USB stick out and chucks it over to Derek like it meant nothing. "But fine, if you have to get rid of it, whatever."

Derek catches it reflexively, the plastic squeaking in warning as his grip tightens. Forcing himself to ease off, he sighs trying to calm down. He takes a few deep breaths before throwing it back to Isaac. "Why didn't you just tell me?"

"Little bits. Floorboards. Remember?" Isaac shrugs, fixating on a hairline crack in the plastic casing, picking at it with his nail. "And I didn't want to make you think I was making a big deal out if it since... well, it's forgotten, right?"

Derek tilts his head to the side; yeah he may have said something like that. He didn't mean it about what they did. Not exactly.

"I didn't say that." Despite his earlier drive, his courage seems to be disappearing. He wants Isaac to know exactly what it meant to him, how it's affected him and how it has played in his mind ever since. He just can't find the words. "I never forgot it."

"I'm just saying, it kinda feels like it has," Isaac says, schooling his tone so he didn't sound as stupid as he felt. It had only been a few days after all but he'd rather hoped when he’d get through the door that first night and well, that thought had many ends but the least of them was that they'd talk about it but when he'd gotten home, Derek was gone and with him, he'd taken Isaac's hope that it had meant something more. He’d had a few days to process that, wallow in it, give up on it. He didn’t think he’d be going through it all again now.

A part of Derek wishes he could just run away but he's an Alpha. He needs to do this. Leaning over, he grips the arm of the couch, "it's been in my thoughts since it happened." Taking a breath, his fingers tighten and fabric rips. "You know how hard it is for me to do this. Talk about feelings and share. When I got back I couldn't be here."

Isaac shook his head, trying to knock the words together in the right way to make it better. "You don't have to talk about it. You could tell me to get lost and I would but I can't do what you do, Derek, I can't lock it all away. I need an outlet, I need an anchor and in that elevator, it was you. And if it's not going to be you, then I thought maybe it would help to see it again and I could get by on my own again."

Isaac set his feet back on the floor. It felt unsteady but he forced himself to stand. "Everyone else leaves. My mom, my dad, Erica, Boyd. I just couldn't give this up too, not even just the memory of it. That was my only reason, I swear. I was never going to tell. I wasn't even going to tell you.

"I did need to talk about it Isaac, I just needed to get it straight in my head first." Reluctantly he pulls his hands away from the couch and moves closer to Isaac. "I meant what I said to you in the elevator. That was the best thing that ever happened to me and I wanted to do it again."

Scrubbing his hands over his face, he looks at the floor. Only Isaac could do this to him.

He can feel Isaac step closer, and he murmurs into the still air. "I understand." Looking up he remembers the way Isaac touched him. Maybe Isaac wasn't the only one who needed someone.

Isaac reaches for his fist; unfurling the fingers and placing the USB stick back his palm. "Watch it. There's no words. No thinking it through and coaching yourself on what to say. Just watch it with me, then tell me you get it."

Derek glances down at the USB stick, "get what?" He sits down on the couch though, next to Isaac's laptop.

“That it doesn’t take days to come up with the perfect thing to say. Just being there and actually giving a damn was more than enough for me,” Isaac says, moving to stand behind Derek, a strange parody of how Derek had somehow crept up on him.

He rests his elbows on the back of the couch and watches as Derek restarts the video, not daring to say anything as he watched himself fall apart for the second time in short succession. There was nothing he could say to excuse it, to apologize because if he hadn’t lost it, maybe it would have been fine. Maybe they’d have sat in awkward silence like two strangers.

Derek really isn't comfortable watching the video at first. He hates how it highlights how bad he is with interacting with others and watching how scared Isaac was again. With his eyes on the flickering screen he finds it easier to talk. He inhales deeply, Isaac's scent surrounding him and he wants to roll in it, make it change. He wants it spiked with lust and sex and his scent. He watches as he presses Isaac against the wall, the phantom feeling sliding over him and making him ache to do it again. He resists, heart beating hard in his chest like he was running in the forest not sitting on a couch, watching a video.  
"I wasn't just thinking of that. I needed to know how I felt. I'm not like you, I don't feel easily. I don't let myself." He can feel Isaac shift behind him and he keeps his eyes on the screen. He watches as they kiss on screen and his tongue flicks out to wet his lips. He can almost smell the fear and arousal coming from himself, a mirror of him on screen. "I opened up to you and I was waiting for you to use it against me."

“I get that,” Isaac says, glancing from the screen to Derek, feeling the panic rolling off him like heat. He was too close for Derek to pretend otherwise. Looking over his shoulder at the laptop screen, when he spoke it was straight into his ear, quietly enough that he barely heard himself. “But I won’t. You came to me for a reason, in that graveyard. You picked us all for a reason because we needed you. I still need you. So if you need me...”

Derek takes a moment to let the words sink in. Maybe he does need him. He can feel Isaac start to move and he moves his arm up to hold him in place. His hand cups the nape of Isaac's neck and he turns, their faces close enough to kiss. He feels the moment stretch between them before crushing their lips together in a bruising kiss. He pulls back to whisper against his lips, "I do."

He kisses Isaac again, thinking he may as well get some practice in touching him. Pulling back he notices they're getting to the good part of the video. Cock twitching at the memory he murmurs softly, "come and watch the video with me properly." He pauses it for a moment and places it next to him before tugging Isaac over to him.

Trying to keep his balance and trying not to get caught on the arm of the couch, Isaac lets Derek pull him down beside him, barely an inch between them. He’d only missed Derek’s lap where he’d had his hand out ready to catch himself and it took him a second to realize he’d caught something else instead.

“Sorry,” Isaac says, awkwardly sliding his hand down to a more appropriate place on Derek’s thigh, feeling the stiff denim move under his fingers before he remembered Derek needed warming up before he was ready to be touched like that. He reluctantly returned his hand to his own knee and apologized again, “Sorry.”

Derek clears his throat, a weird sense of loss cutting through the hint of relief. "It's fine," he answers voice rough.

Leaning over, he plucks the laptop back up and settles it on both their laps, supporting it with a thigh each. Isaac's sitting close enough that he can feel his warmth against him. Feel the slight press of his body against his own. Breathing a little shakily Derek starts the video again. After a moment he hesitantly reaches over to wrap an arm around Isaac's shoulder.

Isaac glances at Derek’s hand but he doesn’t say anything, he just lets it rest there, warm on his shoulder. God, if Peter came through the door now, it’d look like they were just your everyday couple watching Netflix and they’d never hear the end of it.

He leans back a bit further, relaxing now that he didn’t have to worry about Derek walking in on him and as he watches himself sink to his knees in the video, he shifts again, this time so his cock isn’t pressed unnaturally tight against the metal teeth of his zipper. 

If he’d been alone, he would be touching himself by now. That was the whole point of keeping it until everyone else was out. And if Derek was anyone else, he’d probably be touching him by now but Isaac didn’t do well with baby steps so he kept his hands firmly to himself and balanced his chin on Derek’s shoulder, a thought occurring to him. If Derek couldn’t talk and he couldn’t touch...

“You see that,” Isaac says quickly as the recording of himself slipped his hand into Derek’s pants. “I don’t know if you noticed but that was my first. Dick, I mean. Other than, well, you know what I mean.”

Isaac swallows nervously; ok so maybe dirty talk is better done by people who can structure a sentence before saying it so that it flows smoothly.

Derek rolls his head towards Isaac and watches him. He'd just seen his own dick slide through Isaac's fingers and he wanted it again. He wanted more. 

"Was it?" He wets his lips and tightens his hold on Isaac's shoulder, "I was your first?" At Isaac's nod a shiver runs down his spine and his cock presses against his jeans insistently. It makes him want to pull Isaac close; to claim him, mark him as his. The only one that had him and the only one who will have him. His mate. The realization simultaneously excites and terrifies him. 

He watches Isaac take his cock in on the screen and he can't help but to shift, trying to ease the pressure. His hand slides from around Isaac's shoulder and drags it down over his chest. He can do this. "You were my first too."

“Huh. Five minutes alone in an elevator and we’ve turned each other gay, good to know,” Isaac says before grinning at Derek’s expression. 

Raising his eyebrow Derek fights the temptation to pull away or to bite, to punish. He takes a breath fighting for control against his wolf. After a moment he mostly succeeds. Enough for him to lean closer and to growl inches from Isaac's face. A warning.

“Calm down, I’m joking I know it’s not that simple. I think it’s just where you...,” Isaac pauses trying to remember the right words. “Where I’m _your_ beta. Like a territory thing. I was scared; you wanted to make it better. You were lonely; I wanted to make that better. We’re pack first. Everything else becomes secondary to that, right? That’s how it felt to me, I don’t know about you.”

Derek swallows and presses closer, Isaac's earlier fuck up dealt with. "Yes. We're pack and you’re mine." 

He pulls back wide eyed; he didn't mean to say that. He didn't want to scare Isaac with the intense feelings he's dealing with. This is why he doesn't share, why he pushes feelings away. This is why he doesn't have anyone.

“See?” Isaac says, swallowing hard, fighting the urge to push the laptop to the floor and take its place in Derek’s lap. “When you say things like that...” He takes another deep breath. Nope. That didn’t work. “When you-”

The fact it’s a several hundred dollar laptop is the only thing that keeps him in his seat but he can’t stop the rest of him from twisting so he could kiss Derek hard, fingers finding the back of his head and holding on for dear life. He knows he should work him up to it gently but he can’t stop his teeth nipping at Derek’s bottom lip, demanding more.

Derek pulls away panting, eyeing Isaac like his prey. He pauses the video and leans close to Isaac again, "when I?" He pins Isaac down with his gaze, a howl aching to be released but he bites it back.

Isaac clears his throat, forgetting how to speak while he tries to remember the words that had been on the tip of his tongue. “When you say things like that, all I can think about is you making me...”

"Making you?" Derek prompts, his nose briefly pressing against Isaac's neck to inhale his scent. Pulling back he wonders if it would just be easier to let the wolf out more. Touching is so much easier when he's in control. Licking his lips, Derek's fingers tangle in Isaac's shirt.

“Mine,” Isaac finishes as the thin material of his shirt rips easily for Derek. He blinks, trying to stay focused when all he can think about is how he’d much rather be kissing him than talking. “Yours, rather.”

Derek looks up at Isaac with a small smile, "Are you?" 

He tries not to focus on the bare skin that has just been revealed but it's hard. He wants to taste it, to mark him.

“Ok, that’s got to go before I break it,” Isaac says quickly, lifting the laptop onto the table before he meets Derek’s eyes. “Would it freak you out if I said that’s what’s been freaking me out? Like I am vaguely aware that four days is a not a reasonable amount of time for me to be this invested in a blowjob in an elevator yet, here I am, it’s all I can think about. Please tell me that’s some sort of werewolf side effect because I swear I don’t normally stare at you over a Chinese takeaway thinking about how I want you to throw me down on the table instead and fuck me. I don’t even know what that means. Danny thinks I’m having a sexuality crisis with the questions I’ve been asking, he thinks I fancy Scott. And my browser history, Derek... it looks like I’ve just discovered porn for the first time. I’ve got a sprained wrist and that shit’s meant to heal instantly. So yeah, if you want me, honestly, have me. I’m all yours. Help yourself. Just tell me what to do, I’ll do it.”

Isaac took a breath, taking in Derek’s face and his own words. “I guess _yes_ would have been just as good an answer, sorry.”

Before Derek can even think about it, he honest to God pounces on Isaac. Teeth bared, he straddles Isaac's lap and kisses him fiercely, all teeth and tongue. When they have to pull apart for air, he rests his forehead against Isaac's. His mind is racing, absorbing everything Isaac has told him. The part that isn't doing that is approving of the way he looks bracketing the other man. As if he's protecting him.

Taking a breath he laughs softly, "It's not a werewolf side affect. It's a me side affect apparently." He tastes Isaac again before continuing, "Should I worry about you and Scott?" Derek snarls a little, partly as a joke but surprises himself with how much he meant it. That's going to take some getting used to.

He wants to touch, to tear him apart but he has to get this out. To talk before he loses himself. He should let Isaac talk, to answer him but he has to say one last thing before his courage fails him. "I want you. All of you. And you can have me." He looks down, nerve failing him now.

"You only have to worry about Scott if I grow tits and change my name to Allison," Isaac says when Derek lets him get a word in. Not that he's even thinking about complaining. Not in the slightest. Except that he's pretty sure Derek crushing his femur and a good few of his ribs. "And if that offer still stands, I'd rather have you the other way round if it's all the same. I can't really breathe."

Slipping from Isaac's lap he settles onto the couch before pulling him on to his lap. "Better?" He asks gruffly, feeling oddly calm about all the touching, maybe because for the first time he feels they both have too much to lose.

He reaches up, breath caught in his throat and strokes over the man’s chest. "I'm glad I don't have to worry about Scott. It'd be a shame to kill him."

“Nah, I think he got the idea pretty clearly when found us in that elevator,” Isaac confirms as he shifts forward until his knees hit the back of the couch, lips barely staying off Derek’s. “He won’t say anything though; he knows what’s good for him.”

“What about me?” Isaac asks as he rocks his hips forward, chasing Derek’s lips again, unwilling to give them up. “Am I on your good side yet?”

"Almost." He kisses Isaac deeply as he rolls his hips up against the other man’s. His breath hitches in his throat as he slides his fingers over bare skin, feeling the bumps of Isaac's spine. He's pleased that he can do this, can touch Isaac.

"Yeah?" Isaac shivers, sitting up a little straighter as he feels Derek's hand ghost over his bare back. He reaches for Derek's shirt, gathering it in his fists and pulling it over Derek's head, evening the score. He takes a moment to drink him in, the hard defined muscles, the wide shoulders, broad chest. If a cock in his mouth hadn't hammered home last time just what it was he was taking on, that sight sure did. 

He ran his hands over Derek's chest, careful to keep his fingernails from becoming claws but making sure they caught on his skin as he rolled his hips again, feeling Derek hard against his ass through the tight denim. Fuck almighty, nothing was touching him and he still felt like he might come any moment, just from the mere suggestion of being fucked by Derek.

Groaning, Derek grabs Isaac's hips and rolls his own up. "Yeah." 

Grinning, Derek's hands slide up over Isaac's stomach, his chest and biceps. The fear of touching a faint buzz at the back of his head as he lets himself touch, to feel.

Isaac’s skin burns everywhere Derek touches, his hand curling around the back of the couch to give himself leverage as he spreads his legs wider. It’s only when he hears the crash that he realizes what a bad idea it was to pit werewolf strength against IKEA furniture. Opening one eye to check, he finds the room has tipped a full right angle and he’s kneeling on the back of the couch, the floor beneath them but he can’t bring himself to care for the splintered wood or the ripped fabric. It’s easier to put his palms flat on the floor anyway. But the look Derek gives him is enough to make him bite his lip, eyes too dark to even think about being cute. “My bad.”

Derek shrugs, grinning with bared teeth. "I started it anyway," he gestures to the ripped arm of the couch, "you just owe me a new one."

Before Isaac can reply, Derek's eyes flash and he flips their positions. With one hand he pins Isaac's chest to the floor, the other slips into the other mans curls, stroking for a moment before pulling. He jerks Isaac's head back to bare his neck and a happy noise rumbles in his chest. This is how he wants him. Leaning down, he licks a stripe from the dip of his collarbone to the edge of his jaw, reveling in the taste of him, the sensation of smooth flesh and vulnerable muscle.

Isaac can’t stop his hips from grinding against Derek’s, the friction mixing with the sharp tug of his hair and the bite of nails on his skin. He presses his mouth to Derek’s shoulder, the closest part of him he could reach, returning the favor and sinking his teeth into the hard muscle as he raked his nails down his back. He’d lost track of where the lines between talking and fucking, fighting and kissing it better were drawn in the scrabble for something more. 

Derek fucking growls as Isaac's teeth sink into his shoulder. Eyes bright, his teeth sink into Isaac's neck, sucking at his pulse and feeling it beat on his tongue. He feels alive as he grinds against Isaac, friction and pain, dominance and animalistic need tearing at him.

“Fuck, Derek,” Isaac breathes as Derek pushes his hips down just right, feeling his cock hard against his own. But it still isn’t enough. He reaches down between them, fingers yanking so hard at Derek’s belt buckle that he can feel the metal cut into his palm but it’s healed before he even registers it. Ripping the zipper open, he decides he really fucking hates clothes. 

Growling impatiently, Derek shoves Isaac's hands away. He pulls open Isaac's jeans, denim tearing beneath his fingers. He glances up at Isaac, heated gaze daring him to say something. After a long moment he pushes the ruined material away and drags his underwear down. Swallowing, he watches Isaac's cock bob free, drinking in the image before crushing his lips to Isaac's again.

Shifting underneath him, Isaac wraps his fingers around both their cocks, feeling Derek’s hot, hard, heavy against his own. He swipes his thumb over both heads, spreading pre-come over the shafts as he slid his hand down them again, slow enough to tease Derek but fast enough to keep himself from snapping with frustration. He closes his eyes against the sensation, not of his hand; he’s used to that by now but of Derek’s cock. It shouldn’t be as fucking hot as it is but the idea of getting them both off singlehanded was overwhelming and every time he felt Derek’s cock twitch or felt him breathe too quickly, Isaac couldn’t help push him that little bit further, squeezing gently and flicking his wrist, just the barest threat of making him come before he settled back into slow, steady strokes.

Fuck, Derek feels like he's going die before he comes at this rate. Isaac's hand torturously slow as they move together. Groaning he snaps his hips against Isaac's before pulling back. Before he can say anything, Derek lies down and slips his arm around Isaac to urge him up. He exhales heavily as Isaac slides between his legs. At his questioning look, Derek smiles, "You weren't looking comfortable."

“Well, I did break the couch,” Isaac reasons, lining himself up against Derek again. Staying on his knees between Derek’s legs, the angle is trickier but he’s got more room to move and he doesn’t have to worry about Derek accidentally breaking anything of his. Keeping eye contact with Derek, he licks his lips, mouth watering at the fucking view beneath him before licks a line from the heel of his hand to the tip of his middle finger and curls it back around both of their dicks.

Licking his lips, Derek curls a hand around Isaac's hip. His breath hitches as Isaac licks his hand, he looks like a fucking vision and at the feel of Isaac's hand again, he grunts and bites his lip. All he wants to do is kiss and nip and bite. He wants to slide his nails over soft skin.

Isaac leans forward on his knees, daring to lay his hand on Derek’s chest to keep him down. He’s almost surprised when Derek lets him but this week has had bigger surprises in it for it to matter. Pressing his face against Derek’s cheek, stubble scratching at his skin, he speeds up his hand up, flexing his fingers to keep both their cocks covered as his control starts to slip.

Derek shudders, pressing his lips to Isaac's ear, "Need some help?"

Taking a breath, he slides his hands around their cocks too, fingers laced with Isaac's. He nuzzles against Isaac's neck breathing in his scent as they thrust together.

Isaac grins, voice cracking under the strain. “Well, I wouldn’t say no to a hand. So to speak.”

Pressing his lips to Isaac's, Derek sucks at his bottom lip as he squeezes their cocks, swiping his thumb over the heads as Isaac had done, marking him with the pre-come that had beaded there. 

Isaac finds the floor with his hand, the cold surface doing nothing to stop him falling apart. His nails, claws, scratch deep lines in the wooden floor and he growls at his own beating heart to stop himself from changing any further. Burying his face in Derek's neck, his arm trembles under his weight, his hand stills and his hips stutter as he comes, painting Derek's chest below him.

Derek's nails score along Isaac's back as he feels the other man come. It's a weird, warm feeling and fuck it shouldn't be this hot. His cock aches and he's so close. God, he needs to come. He bares his teeth, growling.

Isaac breathes heavily, pushing back the exhaustion pulling at him in favor of making Derek make that noise again. He crawls up onto his knees, taking the weight off his hand so he could kiss Derek, red eyes burning through the green as Isaac ran his tongue over his fangs. "Don't worry; I'm not done with you yet."

"You better not be," Derek murmurs gruffly. The temptation to bite soft flesh with his fangs grows but he resists, instead he bucks up as he kisses Isaac again.

Isaac basks in the kiss for a moment before dragging himself down, pressing light kisses over Derek's collarbone and chest. When he reaches the first line of come, he sits up a bit straighter, finding where it ends and licking it up in one broad stroke of his tongue, eyes glancing up at Derek as he did.

"Fuck," Derek's fingers dig into the Isaac's flesh as he bucks up aching for friction. Fuck that's the hottest thing he's seen for a while. Growling, fangs clenched he fights the wolf who just wants to rub over Isaac until he comes.

Isaac smiles against Derek's skin as he laps up the next trail of come, not stopping this time until only the ghostly shine of where he'd licked remained. He swallows, the taste sharp at the back of his throat as he crawls back further until he could reach Derek's hand, idly running up and down his own cock now that'd he'd been deprived of Isaac's. Catching his wrist, Isaac licks along his knuckles and between his fingers, collecting up the come that lingered on his hand before he pulled it away from his cock and replaced it with his own.

Glancing up at Derek again, Isaac was quite glad looks couldn't kill because Derek looked like he wanted to eat him alive. Giving him a look that told him he was nearly done, Isaac dipped his head down, tongue swiping the length of Derek's cock one smooth motion, over and over until he'd gotten every last trace of come that Derek had spread over himself.

"There," Isaac says, pleased with his work. "Much better."

He didn't give Derek time to agree or argue the point before he lowered his head again, this time focusing on the head before he parts his lips, taking him into his mouth properly.

Writhing below Isaac, Derek's fingers scrabble over the floor. The primal need to come taking over everything. Isaac does something amazing with his mouth and he's suddenly coming, pleasure flowing through him. Breathing heavily, chest heaving he glances down at Isaac and laughs. He has come over his face. "I'd like to see you clean that up."

"Oh, I don't intend to..." Isaac grins, using his speed and Derek's distraction to straddle him, hands pinning his wrists with no real threat to it. He leans down and kisses him messily, rubbing the drops of spilt come over his lips. "I mean, why would I when I can get you to do it?"

Derek's heart pounds in his chest, the contact freaking him out as well as making his wolf want to reverse their positions and assert his power. It burns away the last of his orgasm and he has to take a moment to breathe, to remember that he is safe. He tests Isaac's hold, relieved when it's obvious he could get away.

He knows Isaac can tell something's up, swallowing he tells himself that he can do it. After a moment he opens his eyes, gaze defiant. Isaac stills for a second, heart fluttering in his chest as he sees the challenge in Derek’s eyes. Dropping his head submissively, he slides his hands lightly up Derek’s arms, releasing him and nuzzling into Derek’s neck, baring his own.

“What makes you think I'd do it? I like seeing you covered in my come." Derek sniffs, smelling himself on Isaac, "It smells of me. Of what we did."

Stretching up again, Isaac yawns before reluctantly climbing off Derek and rolling onto the floor, back towards the laptop and the remnants of the broken couch. True, they were down one of their only items of workable furniture and they hadn’t actually discussed what had happened in the elevator or what it meant but at least he knows Derek wants him and that he’s been thinking about him and that the idea of him walking around scent marked as _his_ turns him on, fuck.

"Yeah, or that. That could work,” Isaac says after pretending to consider it.

Derek rolls onto his side with a grunt, placing a hand on Isaac's chest. He pushes his issues aside to smile. "I thought so." He looks at Isaac consideringly and frowns slightly, "Except this..." Slowly he leans forward and licks a few drops from Isaac's lips. "Better." 

He rubs his thumb along Isaac's soft skin and sighs, he really doesn't want to speak but he can still see a touch of uncertainty Isaac's eyes. "We're okay."

"Well, we're both incredibly fucked up individuals who happen to be werewolves in a town full of werewolf hunters but yeah, we’re okay." Isaac shrugs, his slow smile getting easier. He knew the talk would be inevitable and they’d have to have it sooner or later but for now, he was content to accept things how they were. He turns on his side, pressing his back into Derek's chest, finding the heat of his skin more comforting than the cold floor. 

"Optimistic," Derek huffs, pulling Isaac closer and pressing his nose and lips against Isaac's hairline. He takes a deep breath and smiles, "Maybe after you can show me some of that porn you were telling me about."

"Dude, two words: Dale Cooper," Isaac laughs to himself, glancing over his shoulder at Derek before reaching out with his arm, he dragged the laptop back towards them, resting his head on his crooked elbow before hitting play. "Though right now, I’d rather watch this."

"Really? Wonder why," Derek murmurs against Isaac's ear, hand hesitantly sliding down to splay against Isaac's lower stomach, his arm against his warm hip. It's odd feeling someone else after so long but he's determined to get used to it.

Reluctantly looking from the screen to Isaac's face, he huffs out a laugh, "Are you really going to keep that on your face?"

"I guess you'll have to find out, won't you?" Isaac teases, raising an eyebrow before he diverts his attention back to the screen, watching himself swallow down Derek's come without blinking. If college didn't pan out, at least that was a handy skill to have.

"Look forward to it." Derek glances back to the screen, watching as the recording of him wraps his hand around Isaac's cock.

Isaac pushes back against Derek, cock still way too sensitive do anything but feel an echo of what Derek was doing to him in the video but he still cants his hips, a frustrated growl escaping his throat as metal scrapes against metal. No, wait, that wasn’t right...

“Oh, come on, again?!” Scott shouts, making them both roll over to face the door, covering themselves as much as they could while the laptop sat behind them in plain view. “That’s what you wanted that recording for? A sex tape?! I knew it. I thought something was up, I could _smell_ it but I thought it was an alpha thing not eau du... werewolf sex and... and... Isaac, you’ve got... actually, never mind. We’re doing a pizza run. If you want some, meet us outside in five minutes. With clothes on. And no... bodily fluids.”

Isaac glances over his shoulder at Derek as Scott slams the door behind him. “Hungry?”

Shrugging, Derek looks Isaac up and down before shaking his head. "It can wait. I'd rather stay here." His gaze heats as he catches Isaac's eye, "we have a lot to watch still." He pauses consideringly before lowering his voice, "...and I don't want you cleaning up yet."

“You know I can still hear you!” Scott yells from somewhere beyond the door.

“At least he knows not to bother waiting,” Isaac says as he rolls over, pulling Derek down on top of him and into a kiss. Derek was right, it could wait. For like a week. At least.

**Author's Note:**

> Written to fill [this prompt](http://tnw-kinkmeme.livejournal.com/4905.html?thread=784681#t784681) at the defunct Teen Wolf Kink Meme.


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